Emilee The Strange....

2008-05-20T21:47:00.000-07:00

TO MY DEAR FRIENDS WHO HAVE NOT GIVEN UP...

Can't believe you all still tag me...THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH...
I haven't posted anything for ages..Ages..AGES..SORRY SORRY SORRY
i spent a while figuring out how to log back in, and...here i am!!

Quick updates

>>I recently underwent surgery for my right hand..i had broken my bone in a fall that didn't seem so bad at first, but has lead to a lot of pain..undergoing physiotherapy now to regain my strength in that hand..i'm like an invalid now..sigh..but i will be as strong as i can..promise...

>>I'm singing in St james power station..starting work again tonight at Dragonfly...delivering my out of touch mandarin songs..lol..u see i have been on mc for about 2 weeks plus.. don't know when i will start singing at boilerroom again..but will update...promise..

>>I met somebody.

>>There's a Singing/talent competition coming up...AUDITIONS ARE THIS WEEKEND 24th & 25th May..Its held at Bedok Community Centre and registration forms are available online!! I'm part of the committee organising this..Check it out at www.bedokyec.org.sg/form/RulesNRegulations.pdf
It will be fun to take part! promise..

>> I realise that Fear is really the opposite of Love..

:p Em

2007-05-28T15:07:00.000-07:00

MY REALITY

Reality bites...and in this real world..perhaps I couldn't survive...

My Reality, however, only serves to sting myself...because i never want to hurt others...

Yet, I hurt the one person in this world I shouldn't.. I owe everything I have, I owe my life to her...

In frustration, I punched the wall with my fists, my temple...it hurts...

Physical pain, to me, nothing compared to emotional distress...

Wake up...I hear the voice calling...I hear the ache in my head, reverberating..

For every 10 who hate, there are 5 who love...what odds are these?

Those who hate, stay away...far away...fade away...drift away...go away..

Those who love, stay..stay within the circle...stay in my embrace...stay until the day...comes when good rules...

Personal gain...selfish thoughts...betrayal...Lies...taboo...EVIL...society rules

When will Love rule?

2007-05-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

MEMORIES

Hello everyone! I'm exceptionally emo today...yes yes..something happened..I can't give any details..but let's just say my heart has been broken by someone i actually consider a friend..

I met him more than 10 years ago, business thing, and only in the recent months we collaborated on something...As i'm the sort of person who believe very much in 'Yi Qi' (loyalty between friends), I value my friends to the extent i can give and give without expecting anything in return..Then, suddenly, I got burnt..

It's so painful to see that not only has my hard work and sacrifices not being appreciated, I'm being taken for granted and treated like &*%$..

I cried and cried.....and cried....now as i type this, the song that comes to my mind, is JT's Cry me a river..I was lucky I wasn't alone then..[Thank you P for helping me stop my tears..]

Well, anyways, It's a lesson well learned...It also made me think of the good memories...before and during my idol competition..I came home and looked through my pictures.. the ones that make me smile when i look at them, the ones that have taught me a lesson..I will post as much as i can because I want to share them with all of you!! I love you all!

We shouldn't live in the past - yet what we've learned and experienced before, can help give us the strength when we need it, and provide us with the fuel to go further...

Good things happen - situations change...people change...unavoidable...yet lovely!

Love is not just between a couple, but for family, friends and pets...

Old friends - great memories - Kikkumon Ichiban!

Hontoni Suki Desu..Mina-san genki desuka?

I'm Smiling...are you?

Love, Em

2007-04-14T14:37:00.000-07:00

Chinese New Year Garden Party at THE ISTANA

Hey People! Excuse me for not updating in a while..busy la..:p

Right now, I'm going to be sharing my first New Year Garden Party held at the Istana. Imagine my excitement! LOL!

After taking a chartered bus with the other grassroot leaders from Bedok CC, We reached the side entrance of the Istana around 3pm, went through scanners (just to make sure we didn't have weapons on us) and then had to take another bus to the main arena.

The place was gorgeous! And they had some ladies teaching us how to make flowers, calligraphy, etc...The food was catered by Meritius Mandarin and we had all the ministers under one roof.

Flower - making tent

Folding......twisting....turning....wrapping.....

The lady was very helpful...Check out my pink flower!

Then about half an hour later, our DPM (Deputy Prime Minister) arrived.
Professor S. Jayakumar!! (He's also our Minister of Law)

Prof and I

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Prof for all the support he has given me. Even during and after my SI competition, Prof has been very encouraging and supportive. Thank you so much Prof!

From left: Ms Emilee Kang, Professor S Jayakumar, Ms Adeline Kang and Ms Jasmaine Quek.

[Feb 2007 Istana Garden Party]

Suddenly, there was a commotion coming from the main entrance...A huge huge crowd of ppl have gathered..

WHO'S THAT??

IT'S..........

Our MM Mr Lee and his wife!

He had about 6 body guards I can see surrounding him, looking serious and fierce..I told my sis i wanted a pic taken with the legend...So I....

Inched closer.....

and closer...

Managed to shake his hand!! Tender they were...

And steal a pic with the Man himself!

It's just amazing I managed to get as close as I did..Hey...not easy to get close to him ok...just look at the crowd around him..plus he only stayed for all of 5 mins..It was truly my lucky day..lol..

Much to my sister's chagrin, while he was getting into his car, I just had to embarrass myself by yelling after him ,"I love you Mr Lee! You rock!"

Cool Huh?

2007-01-26T18:51:00.000-08:00

The Courage of Love - Not a relationship, but a state of being

Love is not a relationship. Love is but a stage of being; it has nothing to do with anybody else. One is not in love, one is love.

And of course when one is love, one is in love-but that is an outcome, a by-product, that is not the source. The source is that one is love.

And who can be love?

Certainly, if you are not aware of who you are, you cannot be love. You will be fear.

Fear is just the opposite of love.

Remember, hate is not the opposite of love, as people think.
Hate is love standing upside down, it is not the opposite of love.

The real opposite of love is fear.

In love one expands, in fear one shrinks.

In fear one becomes closed, in love one opens.

In fear one doubts, in love one trusts.

In fear one is left lonely. In love one disappears; hence there is no question of loneliness at all.

When one is not, how can one be lonely?

Love is when you have known your inner sky!

-Osho

Love, Em

2007-01-10T13:00:00.000-08:00

THOUGHTS '3' -updated version #3

"Fear is nothing but absence of love. Do something with love, forget about fear. If you love well, fear disappears."
-Osho

I'm gonna start filling in number 6 onwards plus input my comments and further thoughts about the points..Do feel free to input more comments!! :)

I was just talking to Nana (my best friend) about stuff when the topic of 'matters of the heart' came up. I realized that I have actually forgotten what it feels like to LIKE someone..Strange huh...yeah well..that's me I guess..lol

My weird conclusions -

1) So when you look into his/her eyes and you want to concentrate on what he/she is talking about but you realize you can't because you are having this light-headed feeling and all you can think about is how it would be like to kiss him/her and you just want to look into his/her eyes forever if you can.

2) You are DELIRIOUSLY happy when you're with him/her.

3) You don't mind making a fool of yourself...sometimes.

4) You think about him/her.

5) You have the urge to communicate often. (but don't do it as it might piss him/her off!).....

6) Love is a feeling so ever strong that you could risk everything of yours, including your life, for the person you like when it is being treated nicely, but when betrayed, it is such a destructive force that can destroy every single thing which you have built up with ur love one over years within a matter of seconds.

(contributed by Ken) My comment:[True but can be avoided as long as one is not selfish with the space needed between two lovers..also, not to confuse 'betrayal' with pettiness)

7) You want him/her to have the best, even if she/he may not know you're the one, or even may not appreciate if he/she know it is you.
Or simply, you just want to go out with him/her more often. =)

(contributed by Hyperamos) My comment: [A giving spirit without expecting much in return..Same sentiment as myself..It's not easy to be this way though..unless you are truly in LOVE]

8) You find it hard to sleep; not necessarily consciously thinking about the other person but because your heart is racing...
You find it harder to tease the person the same way as when (or if) you were just friends.

(contributed by lu) My comment:[maybe this is the reason why i cannot sleep..lol]

9) He/she is the person that you keep thinking before you sleep and the first thing you wake up!!
Suddenly everyone in the street looks like him/her;)
All his/her words sounds like poetry!!

(contributed by ugly dude naz) My comment: [Can be true but sounds to me more like an infatuation?]

10) The thought of losing his/her friendship brings so much pain that you would rather remain friends than take the risk of telling him/her. If he/she doesn't like you, and he/she knows you like him/her, things might become awkward and never be the same again.

(contributed by Emilee) [ok fine..For the non risk-takers, this point is valid. however, it's always better to be as honest as you can..sometimes we're just waiting for the right time, a suitable situation to do something about it, or just to wait for the other party to make the first move( only if he/she happens to share the same feelings)..if not, things are better left just as they are]

11) When you want to dedicate En Vogue's 'Dont Let Go' to him/her. Lyrics are below..

12) When I really click with someone, I feel energised - as in, in their presence, I can keep on going no matter what. I feed off their energy. I could work around the clock with them, and never stop working. The hours pass fast.
The vastness of life, spread like the desert, collapses down to reveal a great canyon, a river flowing through it that pulsates with electricity. You could curl there, on an island by the river, for hours with that person - the desert above freezes, but you are warm.

(contributed by bha'ral)My comment:[very true..along the lines of being deliriously happy, very distracted and time passing too fast..sigh..i miss feeling this way..]

13) When you will go to any extend to put a smile on his/her face, even if it means sacrificing yourself in more ways than one.

[The important point to note here is that you will never want him/her to find out!! As you are doing it for him/her to make him/her happy, you definitely do not want him/her to find out or he/she will feel bad, guilty and he/she will feel like he/she owes you something, which is not a good feeling to have!!]

14) You lose concentration, everything reminds you of him/her. You talk about him/her nonstop. Your best friend tells you to shut up because his/her ears cannot take it anymore. LOL :p

ok people..I OFFICIALLY NEED HELP..I can only come up with 5 and that's just sad!!
Anyone of you out there who have better conclusions PLEASE PLEASE do leave a comment here!

#I have been a naughty naughty girl.

En Vogue - Don't Let Go

What's it gonna be?
Cuz I can't pretend
Don't you wanna be more than friends?
Hold me tight and don't let go
Don't let go
Have the right to lose control
Don't let go

I often tell myself
That we could be more than just friends
I know you think that if we move too soon
It would all end
I live in misery when you're not around
And I won't be satisfied 'till we're taking those vows
There'll be some love making, heart breaking, soul shaking
Oh, love making, heart breaking, soul shaking

I often fantasize
The stars above are watching you
They know my heart and speak to yours
Like only lovers do
If I could wear your clothes
I'd pretend I was you and lose control
There'll be some love making, heart breaking, soul shaking
Oh love making, heart breaking, soul shaking, oh yeah

Running in and out my life has got me so confused
You gotta make the sacrifice
Somebody's got to choose
We can make it if we try, for the sake of you and I
Together we can make it right

Love, Em

2007-01-09T04:20:00.000-08:00

CLOUDS ( = LOVE? -_-")

My mandarin name is Mei Yun. It used to mean 'beautiful cloud', but as i was too playful and uncontrollable as a kid, my mum changed my 'Yun'(cloud) to another 'Yun'. She used 'grass' to weigh the 'Yun' down so i would become a good kid..lol (did anyone understand that?) It worked..I became controllable.

You know, I wonder if mandarin names really do affect the state of a person's life. Apparently it does, according to popular chinese belief. Which is why my uncle had a fortune teller/wise man/holy man?? to get a name for his only son so that my cousin would have a good life/career/family.(It took a long time to decide the final name, it was too important a matter to be careless about)

Then i wonder about my name, maybe it's because i'm a 'Yun', that's why i feel that sometimes i'm like a 'passing cloud' (I so do not want to be that!!) It's frustrating how when you think you can actually connect with someone you kinda like, only to have that person throw your sincerity back in your face.
How rude eh..I just feel damn lucky i have my friends around me to support me and also to keep me sane(and alive)hahaha..

However, these people who hurt me are actually helping me in some way..to understand myself better and to never do what they did to me to others..By learning from others' cruelty, I learn Salvation (sounds like a skill my hero should have..though my fav is still Juggernaut's Blade Fury..lol..spin spin spin!!!!!!!!)

So i guess what i'm trying to say is..Spread the LOVE people! No matter how many times you get hurt, you should never give up..because Good does exist..plus, whatever goes around comes around..As long as our conscience is clear, we have nothing to fear and True Happiness will find us AND follow us wherever we go..

~This post is dedicated to all who love and are loved in return~

Love, Em

2007-01-01T14:51:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 2007 to ALL!! The year that will bring us much surprises!! I feel myself changing..again..We are forever changing..aren't we?

I'm on a rollercoaster of emotions,
How did that happen? (I asked for it)
I was unsure before but i'm not anymore...

The truth presents itself, the heart throbs,
but my tears ain't flowing,
Have the wells run dry?(massive overflow)
No...So my heart replies...
And so now i know, where my heart truly lies..

The dilemma I experienced, was only but a test from Him,
though it's all in my hands, i still need help from Him!
Are you listening? Can you read between the lines?
Do you not know i'm speaking to you?
Do you feel the vibes? (raw vibes)
Do you still not see?
I need you...

Love, Em

2006-12-24T00:12:00.000-08:00

Hey My Lovely People!! Here's wishing all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
May Happiness follow you wherever you go.. Party Away!!!

Love, Em

2006-12-20T11:36:00.000-08:00

Hi yall!! See this survey below..Nana has asked me to fill it in..So here goes...

1.Are u photogenic? Not really

2.What time do you go to bed? When I can

3.What was the last thing you did before this? just had my dinner

4.Who's the one you always meet the most? Nana & her bebe

5.Who's the person you'll call if you need help? I don't like to trouble ppl. I'd rather solve it on my own

6.What's on your mind right now? This survey

7.What do you prefer? american idol/ malaysian idol? Singapore Idol! cos it has brought me many once-in-a-lifetime memories

8.With whom do you wanna be with to have fun? The person i miss..Nana & her bebe

9.What movie do you wanna watch now? Curse of the golden flower

10.When was the last time you went out? This morning to Mustafa

11.What do you hate the most for now? People who think they know everything just because they are much older

12.What do you do everyday besides eat and sleep? read, write songs, but mostly reading and doing research

13.Colors that make you happy? green, pink, white..all bright colors

14.Most fave thing in your room? My bolster

15.Miss someone? So bloody much you cannot imagine

16.Plan to buy something? No. budget la

17.Are you satisfied with your life now? Striving for a better future

18.Do you like seafood? Yessss

19.Breakfast or dinner? Dinner pls

20.Like chocolates? dark ones with nougat..caramel..almonds..

21.Do you have a laptop? no

22.Whats your favourite food from fast food? LJS chicken..

23.Cats or dogs? Kitties..

24.Salty or sweet? both actually

25.City or country? both..country for relaxation

26.Is kissing normal for your age? what kind of question is this...yes i have kissed before -_-''

27.Are you athletic? when i want to be

28.Favourite bands for now? No particular favourite..i do like Evanescense though

29.Do you have your own cell phone? I have 3

30.What do you wear to bed? Nothing

31.Ever had a crush on a teacher in high school? No leh

32.Coke or pepsi? both depending on my mood

33.Sugar or spice? both plus special ingredient..haha

34.Can you use chopsticks? yes very well..trained since young

35.Do you care about getting good grades? relatively

36.Have you ever fallen asleep in class? so many times when i was younger(it's a no-no!)

37.Get a job or ask your parents for money? Job anytime

38.Is your mom strict? Extremely..

39.Do your parents give you enough privacy? now they do

40.Do your parents trust you? now they trust me more

41.Would you ever wanna lose your best friend(s)? no..unless they want me gone

42.Does your best friend(s) get on your nerves? hahahaahahahaah

43.Do you make friends quickly? relatively

44.Do you tell your mom everything? most of it

45.What do you & your parents fight about most? my job preferences

46.If you love someone & she/he rejected u, what will u do to her/him?
As long as the person i love is happy..that's all that matters..right?
47.Can you sing or rap? I can do both

48.If you have one wish, who would u make ur wife/husband for life? The one in my heart now

49.What do you think about this survey? A way to know myself better actually

50.Would you do another survey such as this? see my mood loh

Now you have to ask 7 friends to do this survey on their blog.Write down their names below.

1. Gayle

2. Norman

3. Jasmine

4. Nurul

5. Hady

6. Jon

7. Mat

2006-12-13T00:40:00.000-08:00

Someone caught me.

2006-12-07T12:47:00.000-08:00

CATCH ME WHEN I FALL

Is anybody out there? Does anybody see?
That when the lights are off, something's killing me
I know it seems like people care, cause they're always around me
But when the day is done, and everybody runs...

Who will be the one to save me, from myself?
Who will be the one who's there?
And not ashamed to see me crawl,
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

When the show is over, and it's empty everywhere
It's so hard to face, going back alone...
So i walk around the city, anything, anything
To clear my head...
I've got nowhere to go, nowhere but home...

Who will be the one to save me from myself?
Who will be the one who's there?
And not ashamed to see me crawl,
Who's gonna catch me when i fall?

It may seem i have everything,
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you've been on,
That you're coming off
Leaves you feeling lost...

Is anybody out there?
Does anybody see?
Sometimes loneliness is just a part of me..

Who will be the one to save me from myself?
Who will be the one who's there?
And not ashamed to see me crawl,
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

And not ashamed to see me crawl,
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

How true...

Dedicated to those who understand...

2006-12-06T10:06:00.000-08:00

THOUGHTS '2'

Life - Unpredictable, though not always...To let go or not to...Dilemma.

Love - Unpredictable, though not always..To let go or not to...Dilemma.

Lust - Unpredictable, though not always..To let go or not to...Dilemma.

Loss - Unpredictable, though not always..To let go or not to..Dilemma.

Maybe this is why i'm single.

2006-11-29T11:41:00.000-08:00

THOUGHTS - The Leech, The Light, The 'Last'

The Leech

Recently I'm beginning to think of someone as a leech.(let's call this person X) Quite sad, really..I don't normally like to think of people in a negative way (unless that person does something to turn me off), but X is seriously beginning to FREAK me out.
To the extent that my friends and i are super turned off and we just want X to go far far away and not keep shadowing our every move. As X gives us very psycho vibes, we are afraid to be straight-forward to X. (X knows where we stay!) We drop hints every now and then, hoping X will get the picture but our attempts remain futile. Sigh.

The Light

"You light up my life..la la la la..." Can't remember how the rest of the song goes...haha..maybe because my life is not as lit up as i hope.

Not that i'm complaining..i have friends who hold me dear to their hearts and i,in turn, hold them dear to mine.

However, according to my friends, i need to be loved in a romantic way. I need to seek the Light in my life.

You know what? I think The Light has already appeared, I just refuse to admit it. LOL

The 'Last'

Many things don't last.
We all know that. Duh.
So we make the best of every moment and strive to be genuinely happy.
But i feel caged.
My morality, my principles,
I want to let go. Seriously.
Still, i can't.
Repercussions will be disastrous.

Should I?

2006-11-26T11:16:00.000-08:00

TEARS

When tears fall for no reason, what does it mean?
Perhaps the reason is clear, just that one refuses to see it.
Allowing them to flow seems to be the answer,
yet the flow never seems to stop.
Confusing, Life is...
Everything happens for a reason, i know..
yet sometimes the reasons are never apparent..
People changing over-night,
A person, warm today, cold tomorrow..

I await.

2006-11-22T01:13:00.000-08:00

OUCH

Someone asked:
How many physical cuts and bruises does it take to bring Em down?

Answer: Still counting...

Someone: Seriously meh?

Answer: Really... you see? (shows proof)

Someone: Aiyo you better do something about that, tsk tsk tsk

Answer: I know but it takes time to heal..what to do?

Someone asked again: How many emotional cuts and bruises does it take, to bring Em down?

Answer: still counting...

Someone: you mean you get hurt so easily meh?

Answer: I'm a very sensitive person...can you see the knot in my heart now?

Someone: Aiyo you better do something about that..tsk tsk tsk

Answer: I know but it takes time to heal..what to do?

2006-10-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

HELLO HELLO MY LOVELY PEOPLE!

Check out my new tagboard and song!! (Thanks a million to Diena for helping me put them up)
I had wanted a tagboard so i could talk to everyone in a faster more efficient way..then Hyperamos brought to my attention that it has limited space..so do forgive me if i don't reply cos i probably didn't read it...Do please tag me anyway and also post comments? I will do my best to reply everyone..

SELAMAT HARI RAYA ADILFITRI

This year was the most exciting Hari Raya for me! I bought a Baju Kurung(my 3rd one in fact) and followed Nana to go visiting! What struck me was that it's rather similar to Chinese New Year-We go house to house wishing everyone Selamat Hari Raya, then we eat, drink, eat, drink..The green packet giving to their descendants and parents was a must for the seniors(once you are working you have to give! For Chinese New Year, only married couples have to give red packets to unmarried people and parents)
It was interesting to watch the kids line up in a long long row to get their green packets from nana..and believe me, it was a LONG row...You see, nana's mum has got 10 siblings and her dad has got 8 siblings, she has about 36 cousins in total...just imagine how packed the house was when ALL came under one roof! Towards to the end of the day, i was so exhausted i fell asleep on her cousin's bed, and had to be sent home. The moment i reached home, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow! I enjoyed myself immensely that day..I got to meet her whole family, who were all very nice people! I love them! I have taken some pics and will put them up soon..Have a great weekend everyone!! :)

Love, Em

PS: Uglydudenaz -Thank you Naz..He will be happy to know he's being remembered..:) Take care too..
emilee-kang-rox - I think Althea is a cool name..so unique! Study hard, Play hard but do remember to continue revising
your studies k..Muah muah
ando-aries - Thank you..you're new! haven't seen you here before..do keep coming here! :)
blueguitarboy - Hi there! I like black, plus it'e Emilee the Strange, so black suits the theme more..heehee..do check out
www.emileekang.com...that's my website..Take care and see you here again! :)

2006-10-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

Hey People! Sorry i haven't been updating....Miss you all so much!

TO ALL MY MUSLIM FRIENDS- SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

My Condolences to the family of Mr ALI AHMAD (The Tom Jones of Singapore)
"You will be remembered dearly-respected for your wonderful personality and your ever exciting career!"

Gotta go now...Tomorrow will be a long day for me..I'm helping Nana's family with the celebrations and of course, eating non stop.....Hahahaha I'll be back as soon as i can my dears!!

May happiness follow you wherever you go....

Love, Em

2006-10-03T15:43:00.000-07:00

Not forgetting.....

CONGRATS to my dear bro Hady!
A big THANK YOU to all Hady fans and voters..without all of you, there is no Hady Mirza '2nd Singapore Idol'
Hady will surely do us proud as Taufik always will!

Also to Jon supporters and voters - be sure your votes have not come to waste as Jon, driven and hardworking as he is, will not be a 'flash in the pan'! heehee..I have full confidence in him!

I love you guys la....

2006-10-03T14:57:00.000-07:00

Hallo Dear Friends!!

To:

Jasmine - Thanks babe...glad you like the pics...will try to put up some more ya? :)

Hyperamos - will definitely check out your blog as soon as i can...to see your handsome face..heehee..

Teckhwee - Thanks man...hope you liked our performance in the finals!

Two hillers - Come to think of it, we 'bully' Paulie only because we sayang him a lot..haha..He will be glad to know he's being so loved by all! I haven't seen him for a week and already i miss him...

Vampira - Thanks Sahira..you're really sweet!! Hady will be happy to know he melted your heart...

Tanat - It's really with supporters like you that has kept us going through the journey..I'm glad you liked the PCD song..We spent a lot of time rehearsing the dance, which kept having to be arranged and rearranged...I'm super proud of all the girls for pulling it off..Besides we had the best time ever doing that song!!

Kaileng - I didn't know you supported Nana in season 1! She is my best friend and i was actually beside her when she was reading your tag..haha..I'm glad we finally got to take a pic together..I remembered when i called out your name, you were so shocked...haha

Scribbling into space - Thanks so much..Please continue to support us k? :)

emilee-kang rox - LOL the 'chicken wings' thing is quite funny..it's much better than what we came up with...Our version ' you give me wings so i will be clean and dry' LOL Just kidding la...

Sunny - HiHi! Thanks for your concern man...SI is not exactly over yet...we still got more for our supporters...Will surely strive to improve more and deliver quality entertainment to all.....:) Do Support us k?

Stephie - It's really because of supporters like you that makes us go on, even though we are simply exhausted mentally and physically..Thank you so much! Do come up to say hi when you see me? Muacks!

Adeline - Hi Adeline! How have you been? Do take care and hope to see you soon...:)

Eddyboi - Thanks so much! Am elated to know you enjoyed our performances! There might be more to come! We will not disappoint. :p

Joey la fox - hey girl! will visit your blogspot as soon as i can ya? :)

Edna - I remember you! You were with your gal pal right? And yes that was just two days before i flew to England for a long awaited holiday...eavesdropping? no la..i was probably so excited about the trip that i was talking a little too loud..lol

Blackmambassist - You are just the sweetest ever...Made my day and made me blush too! lol Take care! :p

2006-09-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

HEY HEY PEOPLE! We have all been very busy preparing and rehearsing nonstop for the past 2 weeks...If you are going to the finals, Confirm, stamped plus guaranteed you will be wildly entertained! heehee..I'm kinda exhausted but still, a promise is a promise..Enjoy! :) Kisses & Hugs...

THE 24 HOURS DE-STRESSING CRUISE

Here we are, the 4 monkies, super excited to be going on a cruise..can you feel our excitement?!

Here we are with George, the man who made it all possible! He is such a wonderful person and we love him to bits..Thank you George! You are the best!

Here we have Gaylie teasing an airport security officer..Normally, these guys are very serious and cool, but once faced with us the crazy crazy monkies, even they can't help smiling and blushing..hahahaha

This pic was taken after we pass the security check point,
(which took a long time because Paulie kept beeping and beeping,too much metal! Pun not intended la..metal is referring to all his accessories)where we actually took a video introducing the ferry we were taking but because of the glare from the sun, the ferry couldn't be seen! Wasted.

The 1st thing I did once we reached our destination was to get an Indonesian massage. Just half an hour of it was enough to rejuvenate my senses and hype me up for all the partying!! Paulie and Gaylie had a manicure, while Noodlie had a pedi..

And Paulie got so bored waiting for us that he started to self take pics of himself..

After our mani, pedi and massage, we checked into our rooms and went to their cafe to get a drink..here i took this photo of Gaylie and Noodlie. I like this pic so much!! I named this pic, My Sexy Gals..

After dinner, we proceeded to the lounge to watch their inhouse performances and grab mocktails..and also taking lots of pics...LOL

Here's one pic of Paul apparently imitating his own pose from 8days..hahaha..quite nice actually...

Noodlie and I with Paulie. As you can see, we like to experiment new poses at the expense of Paulie..He enjoys it though..hahaha

Noodlie and I before massage and pedi

Noodlie and I after massage and pedi

Then I had to decide to have a baileys...(act clever only)..and I'm feeling a little sleepy already..I can't drink to save my life!!!

Oh Tanat...remember you said poor Paul because we bully him? Well check this out...THIS is bullying...hahahaaha

Love, Em

2006-09-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

hey ya people!!!

Eddyboi - Thanks so much!! We had a fantastic time and so did Paul!

Sunny - It was a 24 hour cruise to nowhere..the ship stays in international waters the whole time..It was a gift for Paul cos we wanted to cheer him up...can't bring too many boys at a time you know...1 paul is enough to handle man..you won't believe the things he does!

Teck - I truly enjoy readin your comments..always so endearing! i had fun in York and also on the cruise..never laughed so much for a long time..LOL no record company has approached me but i hope there will be..Ken is cool..He's actually very nice in person! We have wanted to kick his butt for a long time but after we came in contact with him in private, we think he is kinda cool..lol..take care..:)

Vincent - We are working hard to give a fantastic show to all in the finals..13 hour long rehearsals...no kidding man!! Take care!!

Hyperamos - you are just so sweet...I'm sorry we had to leave the band..you know we want to do more, much much more...i do miss devils and performing on that stage but without Hady, nothing is the same anymore..maybe you describe your look and where you normally sit? i might remember!! :)

twohillers - cool cool! paul had so much fun..check out the pics i'm gonna post up after this..

tanat - was that you paul was talking to? lol i couldn't see quite well cos i lost 1 side of my lenses..i didn't dare tell the rest or they will be scared cos i'm driving them...their lives are in my hands..lol..next time if i don't see you just call my name..say my name, say my name...lol..and you saw the pics on gaylie's blog already? well then i'm gonna post some pics which her blog doesn't have..hers are quite censored..LOL..and meryl will be happy to know she's being missed..i miss her too..a lot actually..she's such a sweetie..

missy-aini - Thanks so much...lots of love to you!!

emilee-kang-rox - you must be a really good girl! study hard..don't disappoint k..:)

ouisard - heehee...we didn't get to swim at all..so maybe next time...haha..noodle and i tried to place some bets but all looked so complicated we ended up changing our chips back..lol..take care..:)

sahira(vampira) - hey gal, will definitely tell hady..thanks for supporting him! tickets i'm not sure how else to get..even we get only like 11 tickets..not enough right? what to do...sigh..take care Vampira..i like your nick!!

kaileng - hehehehe...next time must take pic with you! Do let me know if you see me cos i'm gonna be quite blur this week till finals..the schedule is super hectic!! see you soon....muah

jasmine - saySaysay! i can be fun when i want to or super serious when needed..lol..i can be quite playful at times...cos forever young at heart mah..LOL..Paul is Hot yah? I will tell him for you...heehee...

sunny - LOL...you are so funny! we don't have much tickets too...all taken up already..so sorry..i will definitely be looking for opportunities and being proactive will surely help..did westlife really use a stick? i must watch it? is it on youtube? take care...:)

May Happiness follow you wherever you go
Love, Em

2006-09-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

To Sunny....I will never forget the people who love me!! You so drama...haha..very adorable...next time you see me, let me know who you are ok? cos i will pinch your cheek..LOL

Angeliclovegal...Hi sweetie! Thank you so much for leaving me a message even though you are Jon's fan..heehee..Keep on supporting Jon..leave messages for him to show your love...He really needs it!! Muacks muacks..

Uglydudenaz...I'm doing ok, brother...The top 10 idols will be performing for the finals and i will be singing a really cool song...I can't say what song it is, only it has attitude...:)

Kaileng kaileng! You are really hardcore fan of Jon aye...heehee..even got interviewed and they showed it on tv! i was looking at your reaction in the studio and you were like, "ahh! ahh!" you looked very pai seh...Don't be pai seh la..you look good on tv! Muacks see you around...

Hanz...Thank you so much for the compliments...I'm flattered you think so! Hope i can continue a career on tv. I promise not to disappoint!

Vincent...I have been great...I see you every now and then at the studio...who do you actually support?

welovepaultwohill...the lollipop can only be found in York...It smells really fruity and i bet delicious! but...cannot cos too much sugar! for display only i guess..LOL..Paul sends his love!

(emilee_kang_rox)....COOL nick...LOL...Don't be too stressed...remember when you study, you must be calm and collected, and truly understand what you are reading..then only can you fully absorb the formulas..are you still having PSLE now? will email you when i can k..Muah Muah

Ouisard...I'm glad you enjoyed the blog i spent almost 12 hours doing up. Reason why it took so long is because where i was staying they only had wireless..and it was VERY slow..I didn't sleep at all! Next place i go, i will definitely post up stuff..

Hyperamos...How you doing? Suppport Hady then! Things in UK are really ex...so i can only afford the dino...lol ...budget la!

Tanat...Hey dear bro..have been seeing you in the studio past few weeks..but i didn't see you just now and yesterday too..where were you? Take care and see you around..thanks for the hug man!

c.a.n.d.i.c.e...Thanks babe...till next trip..HAHAHAAHAHAH(dracula laughter)

shyanne...BIG KISS FOR YOU..take care sweetheart..

nisa...you take care too nisa...more to come...lol..

teckhwee...Hihi teck! I'm curious...have i seen you before? *hugs*

Love, EM

2006-09-14T11:37:00.000-07:00

HALLO HALLO HALLO PEOPLE!

Hey Everybody! Sorry for not updating for so long...ever since i came back from England, I have been catching up with the idols and my friends as best as i can..I miss all of you!! Big Kiss to All!!

THE FINAL 2

Hady and Jon...the final 2 i predicted from the start! I'm SO HAPPY, SO SO HAPPY for them! Just now, outside hangout, i was asked the question,'do you support Jon or Hady?' My immediate response was,'I'm torn.' cos i truly am. Both of them have got different plus points, both are 'shuai'(haha), both have great voices, both have....alamak the list goes on and on...i'm truly torn!

24 HOURS OF CRUISE FUN

Tomorrow, Gaylie, Noodlie, Paulie and I, Emilee will go on a cruise holiday! We are able to go for just 1 day though, cos rehearsals for the finals have started. This cruise was actually a gift for Paul when he was ousted last week. I wanted to cheer him up as he was really upset and when we gave him the invitation, he got happier and there, we achieved our aim..LOL..we even had to bluff him that there's gonna be lots of bikini chicks to make him go 'WHEEEEE'! (unfortunately i don't think there will be any..haha)
Thank you George for arranging the cruise for us!

Right now, as much as i would love to write more, i must go...because i gotta get up early for rehearsals and i have not packed my overnight bag for the cruise..I better go now...

"May Happiness follow you wherever you go"

Lots of Love,
EM

2006-08-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

MY DAY IN YORK

York - For nearly 2000 years, York has been the capital of the north. Its city walls, built durin the 13th century, are among the most impressive surviving medieval fortifications in Europe.
Here's Emilee's fun day in York - i'm depicting my experience to the best of my memory, ok...heehee :) Enjoy!!

LEAVING HOUSE

Bright and early in the morning 10.00 am..and here i am standing in the middle of the road outside the house
(no cars at this time so it's safe) See the car behind me? That's gonna be my ride..(yeah right) (in about 2 years time haha)
I'm going to York today!!

BREAKFAST

I was actually contemplating to make a sandwich to eat on the train but due to lack of time (the train i was planning to catch leaves at 11.05 and the bus ride to the train station takes about 20 mins plus there's A LOT of walking ) i decided to get Burger King from the station.

You must be wondering why i took a photo of the heinz tomato sauce, well here's why - You know how in singapore if we want more packets of sauces we got to keep asking the cashier? I'm like," can i have 5 packets of ketchup?" I'm given 2. I go,"can i have 3 more packets of ketchup?" She gives me 2 more. Then i go,"1 more please" and finally...(circus music plays) i get my 5 packets.

Well here in England, The packets are less watched over and you can take as many as you want and i'm thankful for that!! And if that's not a good enough reason, check out the giant onion rings, they are about 3 times the size of the onion rings from Burger King Singapore!!!
Gosh they're juicy...yum yummy yum yum...

ARRIVAL IN YORK

Finally....I'm in York! My Spirits are high and i'm excited to go!! Wheeeeeeeeeee......The place i'm targeting to go - the York Minster
A short walk from the train station took me to the famous city walls, built in the 13th century, well preserved with medieval gates.

WHAT'S THAT?

Is this a mini fountain?, an ancient water cooler? I pressed the button, half expecting water to spout but nothing happened. . (I don't have a tour guide so there was really no one to ask)

HAUNTED WALK

York happens to be the most haunted county in England. These tours are aplenty and promise to scare the socks off you! It costs about 5 pounds and guts to go on one.

WAR MONUMENT
A war monument erected in honour of soldiers and sailors who lost their lives in South Africa AD 1899 - 1902.

TARGET REACHED!!

Here stands the York Minster, (or the Cathedral & Metropolitan Church of St Peter) Europe's largest medieval cathedral and one of the world's most inspiring buildings. The Minster is the seat of the archbishop of York, who holds the title of Primate of England and is second only in importance to the archbishop of Canterbury, the Primate of ALL England. Wow. Must take a photo with the York Minster!

TEATIME

The wind was seriously not happy with me and soon it was too cold for me to be staying outdoors. Add on a little hunger and to the nearest cafe i go! I ordered blackcurrant tea and soon needed to eat something. The cafe had food but why order food when i have my delicious bacon sandwich?
They didn't allow outside food so i had to sneak bites and make sure i'm not seen!! A waitress walks in my direction and i hurriedly keep my food... lol!

CONSTANTINE THE GREAT

Here's Constantine the Great ( the Sexy??!!) And I.

WHAT'S MISSING?
Ok what is a holiday without SHOPPING!! So here I go browsing the shops in York for a good buy. In the pic i'm posing with a huge lollipop which i really wanted to get but in the end i didn't. :(

I wanted to buy a mini model of the Minster but it was so EX! It was like 25 pounds and that's 75 singapore dollars!

Eventually i came upon a bake shop and got myself a gingerbread dinosaur! I love gingerbread!
Does anyone remember the story of The Gingerbread Man? It was my favourite bedtime story when i was a toddler and my love for gingerbread has never faded since.

Next i entered a shopping mall and really made myself at home, posing for pictures with their caps, only to be warned off by the security guard("no pictures here, miss") I wanted to take a picture with the guard but he courteously declined. :p

SUMMER FAIR

I was just in time for the York Summer Fair ( summer? it's too cold to be summer!!). They had horse carousels, candy floss,blow up castles,etc for the kids and street orchestras, little shops selling small knick knacks, t-shirts( check out the pic where i pose with tshirts i believe Paul will like VERY much) and even a Roman bath( whatever that is)

Along the way i spotted a Donut shop with an interesting name - Kinky Donuts - Think the boys queuing up are hoping to have a taste of kinkiness? ahhh..hormones..LOL

Nearby, I spotted the sexiest lingerie shop, check out the red nurse outfit! As i peeked into the shop, i thought i saw a super sexy gal walking around in there in next to nothing...Then i realized it was a customer trying on the lingerie...Hot Hot HOT. I didn't dare steal a photo of her.

THE SCARIEST LAST STOP

After having to wash my eyes and wiping the blood off my nose, I arrived at the very anticipated York Dungeon.(Right beside it is the Grand Opera House, reminds me of Vampires already!!)

The Gruesome going-ons - A unique feast of fun with history's horrifying bits. Live actors, shows and special effects transports us back to those black, bleak times. Explore the facts that surround the local legends to famous Vampires! It's simply terrifying..Here's what i can remember..

The Judgement of sinners - A man playing a 17th century judge picked on this American guy just beside me and proceeded to accuse him of terrible crimes..He was thrown into a rat-infested dungeon. I was so scared i would be singled out i was practically sinking to the floor..(ok ok I'm a scaredy cat)

Plague - Goodness me, the live actors, all dressed up as plague victims, looking absolutely horrendous. They looked like The Living Dead! they were really out to scare us and i found myself screaming and screaming and screaming nonstop! In the 14th century, the bubonic plague had hit York and thousands had struggled, disfigured and in unspeakable agony.

There were others about Vikings( informative and made me sick to the stomach knowing how cruel humans can be), Dick Turpin(a little boring, don't remember much, was recovering from screaming watching the torture chamber) and the Labyrinth of the Lost(It's like a maze, i just followed the rest and hid most of the time haha ok ok I'm a scaredy cat)

At the end of the whole experience, We exit into the Gift Shop, where i bought a York Dungeon cap as a souvenir. Ahhhhh..happy again..no longer scared...

GOING HOME
It was time for me to get back to Leeds before the sky went dark. The sun here sets at only after 8pm, amazing right?
I truly thought i would never get frightened by anything after York Dungeon, until i saw that directly opposite the train station, i the middle of the road, was a cemetery.

Complete with tombstones and (is that a coffin?!), seeing this sent chills up and down my spine...i would hate to imagine what lies beneath...

Are you even a little scared? Cos i am. LOL

Love, Em

2006-08-12T03:01:00.000-07:00

To: Manjoe(lol nana will tell you, and ur new kitty is so ADORABLE!)
Teck Hwee(u are so very sweet..I hangout mostly at home..don't go out much cos gotta take care of my dad..)
Welovepaultwohill<3(Thanks sweeties! Keep showing pauly your love..he really needs it!)
Kelvin(sorry to have caused you to stop watching:(..but finals must watch ok! Muah)

Dainty Diva(I'm still very much in contact with them :)
C.a.n.d.i.c.e(Let whatever happen, happen..there is nothing much we can do except continue to support your favs)
Lisa (Sam says thanks..she loves it when she gets compliments..heehee.) Displacedthoughts(We will never know the final result until the last minute..I'm supportive of the remaining contestants..they are under a lot of stress)
Sunny(you make me so'sunny' when i read your posts! my daddy's name is Sunny too..heehee)
Eddyboi(perhaps you're right..lol but very hard to say..They might be Young at heart just like i am!)
Hyperamos(Relax.."big hug" and watch the show..Just be happy and see the lighthearted side of everything..it will make life easier..:)
Carrot9 (Muah):)
Sweet<3 (Go Sweet<3 Go!)
Kaileng (i miss seeing you at roadshows..you are truly a nice gal to be so supportive of me even though i'm not your fav..haha muah muah)

bubblegumsexwax (what a nick you have..bubblegum is my weakness..i can chew and chew and never get tired of chewing..heehee thanks i'm happy to know you enjoyed my performance! i don't have a bf la..)
Geoff (Thank you so much for missing me..i miss being able to interact with everyone as well!)
Nisa (Perhaps perhaps perhaps...lol...sorry i'm a bit crazy today)
Grooves (you got the grooves man! yeah baby yeah!)
Ugly dude naz ( why ugly dude??? I'm still with mediacorp..DB maybe..Supernova..will check out the show when i can..SPURS FOREVER!)

GUESS WHAT?

Hey People!! Like i told Nisa, I'm a little crazy today..lol you know why?
16 hours flying..a little jetlag..i'm in ENGLAND!! i'm gonna be here for 2 weeks..figured i needed a break before the finals. I will be wandering around here and taking pics to post here so i can share my holiday with everyone! However, i really do not know where to start! Any ideas? lol..
Before i left singapore there was the terrorist scare and everyone started to call me, asking if my flight was still on..apparently now we can't bring liquids, makeup and some other stuff as hand carry baggage anymore.
So I called Changi Airport and asked them,"so what items am i allowed to bring on the plane?" The girl on the line actually giggled and replied,"pocket-sized wallet, credit cards, sunglasses but minus the box, sanitary items but minus the box(What??!!), passport(of course), and ah...that's all..and all this must be put into a transparent bag." By the time she finished i realised i was so shocked i couldn't even answer her and after like ten seconds pause i asked lamely,"what about sweets?" The girl laughed and said,"i think that should be fine." lol
After i put down the phone, i looked at all my unpacked stuff strewn all over my room floor and wondered if i could pack up in time! It was already 8.30pm and my flight was scheduled at 11pm. Gosh.
Anyway, here i am, getting a headache due to jet lag , yet excited at the same time!! It's still really cold here though i was informed it wouldn't be..Darn..plus i lost my jacket in Changi airport and had to walk around in a sleeveless top..Darn..i'm lucky i didn't catch a cold..LOL

WHY IMA!?
Ima, IMA..i was absolutely shocked to my core that Ima is out. Not surprised Joakim was crying though..they were as close as siblings..She is more relieved than anything so i'm not too worried about her. All the best Ima and see you soon! Love you babe.

My headache is getting worse..i better go and lie down for a while now..And when i get up, Food! gonna get subway or something(everything here is super expensive) Gotta go now..tatas everyone! Big KISS to all!

Love, Em

2006-08-04T04:00:00.000-07:00

I can't believe Jay got sent home.I nearly fell off my seat when they put Hady, Jon and Jay on the chopping board. What is going on? Jay is fine though and being really strong! I'm very proud of him! He didn't allow tears to cloud his swan song and he left with his head held high. This is the attitude I hope all my other fellow idols should adopt.
It's hard enough that we are in the public eye, facing judgement from people who are biased against us, getting slammed, dissed, insulted, etc..It really HURTS. There are also the kind good souls out there who are supportive and don't have an inch of bad in them. If not for these kind souls, we would all have broken down! Sometimes i wonder what these people gain from slamming us, What? What can they possibly gain from posting hate comments? I seriously don't get it..oh maybe self satisfaction? But there are other more effective ways to satisfy themselves! I wished there was something i could do to help these people but i guess i will never know their identities. Whatever it is, i wish them lifelong happiness :)

TO ALL MY LOVELY PEOPLE OUT THERE!!
eddyboi(who say i got crush on anyone? :p), dainty diva, lisa, sophia(my kind of gal), kaileng(miss u too man), ichigo-san(arigato~), ardna(thanks 4 e hug, really needed it), robin, darkelv(:) u r very smart), dennis, diyanrishka,nisa, veronica, grooves, meesaarsngg, stupidgenius, sunny, teckhwee, tanat(BIG hug), karlg,prim, ouisard, displaced thoughts, paperfaces on parade(Jay and i are just friends la), candice(maybe going back but much later cos still 'bound'), manjoe and shyanne(sms nana!),lonekeeper(u r so sweet! send my love to your granddad) and much more who have posted fab and encouraging comments!
Want to keep typing but i have an appointment at 8 so gotta go people! will be back soon and i'm probably gonna find pics to post if not it's gonna get quite boring! BIG KISSES TO ALL!! MUAH LONG KISS M>>>>UAH....haha
Love, Em

2006-07-30T01:24:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody!! My 'holiday' has finally ended and now this is where my true life career begins!! Oh before that i must apologize for not updating this blog for so long..Due to busy schedules and the Sin idol blog which requires us to update it, my time had all been taken up but i never forget to read the comments!
A Huge Thank you for your wonderful comments and i'm truly sorry to have disappointed all of you by not being able to go further ahead in the competition..Haiz..I would have made a good role model for kids...

To: Lovefool, Manjoe, Eddyboi, Darklev, damekko,ragdoll, shyanne,hyde, siow, vanny, sarah annlim, spidey, juz, displaced thoughts, tagyuxiang, diyana,hyperamos, ouisard, cyborg, nisa, candice, teck hwee and twohill fans...Thank you for the love, encouragement and wonderful comments..Please do keep watching me because i'm still around..i didn't die..haha :p

Of cos, one particular person whose name i didn't mention will actually love it if i had died..just read the comments he made on my Samantha's blog..Must probably be someone i have offended in the past before due to my straightforward nature and until today still cannot get over it(poor thing)..But i'm quite happy cos he actually specially dedicated a blog to hate me! Haha my hate factor quite powerful ah!
Anyway i wish him/her happiness always. Why? cos if his/her life gets better and happier then he/she will be too busy being happy to hate me..haha..

WHY I DIDN'T CRY
A lot of people ask me why i seem so strong and happy when i was announced to be the one going home that night...My answer...I felt no regrets and i wanted to leave with a lasting and positive impression.
It had been my best performance since the beginning of Idol and i had only improved each week so i will be remembered as 'Emilee who improved consistently and who shocked people when she was axed.' I certainly preferred this to 'Emilee who sang like shit and got kicked out as expected' haha...funny ah..
3 days into my cut-short holiday and i'm still tearless..
You know how sometimes we want to be strong and all but we tend to surprise ourselves at the most unexpected time? I'm pretty sure this won't happen this time because i'm truly thankful i left the way i had. I didn't want to wait till the week that i would unfortunately mess up my song and then get booted out..That would be a serious blow man!

WAS IT A FAILURE?!
Recently i read on one of the internet Idol Forums and they were talking about how well i took the 'failure'. I kind of laughed.. Why was it a 'failure' anyway?
It's a competition and if you want to say whoever who doesn't become the Singapore Idol is a 'failure', wouldn't there is like more than 3600 'failures' in Singapore?
Kinda funny isn't it? The word 'failure' is definitely not a word i like. it's a word we should avoid using because i think we're all winners here..every single one of us from cineleisure auditions to theatre auditions to top 12. We are the same!! 1 passion, 1 love, 1 target....

WHAT NEXT?
Sleep!! was my 1st answer when i was being asked this question..(you see, we don't get much sleep)haha super stoned due to lack of sleep..

Now, I'm still pretty much involved in Idol stuff though i'm out of the running for the next Singapore Idol..Contracted for at least till end of Dec. Will be appearing now and then so do look out for me!
Meanwhile, to fill my stomach and pay my bills, i will be going back to doing events organising with my sister's company so if you have any good job recommendations with a good budget,do leave a message on my blog or email me at ambitservices@gmail.com. WE DO EVERYTHING FROM PRIVATE PARTIES, CORPORATE FUNCTIONS TO LARGE SCALE EVENTS, EG FESTIVALS AND ARTS PERFORMANCES
Do inform me ahead in advance though k? MUAH MUAH...

It's dinner time now and i can't wait to sit down and indulge in a very long awaited home-cooked meal! Gotta go..Ciao everybody. Take care, be happy, keep smiling, and don't forget me!

<'Out of sight but never out of mind'>

Love, Em..:)

2006-07-05T11:04:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody! So sorry i was unable to update my private blog..It's weird cos on the day of my results show i was about to post my thank yous to all but was unable to access my blog. I wonder what happened?
Anyway, I'm ecstatic to have made it to top 12 and yes, yes i know of the 'unfairness' thing. I have heard and read so much about it..For those of you who feel indignant for me, please do not let it affect you too much! I want to be a part of your lives in a good way, i do not wish to make anyone sad or angry for me..

I'm hurt and right now with the pressure of the competition on and the loneliness I feel without my family,friends and Sam,(She is in a pet hotel now by the way and I know she's in good hands) I'm so afraid i will break down anytime soon..

Honestly, my heart is aching like mad and i feel like finding a corner and just letting it all out. I have suppressed my tears for too long..even today as i watched the top12 closeup episode with the rest of the idols, i was about to start crying but my first reaction was always to stop it and be strong..Should I let it out?
I admit i am too emotional for my own good. (Like what hady says, I'm a piscean and we are like durians-Spiky sharp on the outside,all mush inside..) He's right. While being strong can help with my confidence and also project a positive influence on the people around me, it's eating me alive, more so now than ever! What should i do? When i got interviewed i said 'if i cry, it means i have given up' I'm beginning to realize that this only applies in certain situations.

The truth is, i'm lonely here. I'm afraid to get too attached to the other idols because i know it will simply kill me to have to see anyone go or to leave the house myself. right now,I'm concentrating on the competition and trying to have fun at the same time yet somehow i feel empty. Something is missing. I need to find it. Fast.

2006-06-21T13:01:00.000-07:00

hi there! thanks to all for posting comments...i'm super stressed, can't eat, can't sleep..results show coming up..Please do vote for me! Save me! :p Good luck to all my fellow contestants Charmaine, Nurul, Mathilda, Meryl, Annabelle and Wanhua! Good Luck to myself as well...Peace to all!

2006-06-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

Hi all!
To Hady, Jay,Adil,Roslan, Joakim, Primero and Randy..Good Luck on the upcoming results show! See you guys on thursday! Muah Muah...

2006-06-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

Yo everybody! i'm back!!
First of all big congrats to rahimah and jasmine for making it to top 12! Happy Birthday Rahimah. hope you like the cake James and I got you! we had it planned just the day before. quite last minute but its the thought that counts right??! haha :p also to jonathan, many thanks for being such a good friend! :p

to lovefoolosopher, thank you for your wonderful advice and encouragement, i will definitely work hard and strive for what i hope to achieve in life...:) and i still think you're an intellect! haha

to 5t3v3n, thanks for your support and samantha says thank you too! i will definitely do my very best for idol and just hope i can get enough votes to get through. :) cheers...

to secret agent, you must be d che! definitely not ed or gor. so i can go tua pek's house and eat free food everyday? haha do you know how to cook the black egg mushroom thingy that grandma always cooks? that's my favourite. ate so much at gou gou's place that i couldn't stand up haha.sms me abt that. love you muah muah muah

2006-06-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

Next, allow me to introduce my 'daughter' Samantha..She's 1 year n 6 months old and is extremely playful and active.She loves to take pictures and is a vain pot. Her fav foods are chicken and seafood flakes and her preferred games include 'hide n seek' , 'climb up ur jeans n hang' as well as 'bite the ankles till u scream'..She's shy with strangers and can sense evil..haha..
The 1st pic is Sam at 2 months old and in the 4th pic she's kissing me..awwww
Samantha is naughty but very lovable!! My life revolves around her..
That's all for today, Samantha's waiting for me at home now..She gets mad whenever i go back late..No kidding! Muah Muah to all! Till next time...Cheers :)

2006-06-04T14:01:00.002-07:00

Hi all! I'm back with more photos from my Europe Trip but before i start rambling about it, I'd like to shout out a big CONGRATS!! to Jon and Paul for having made top 12!! To Terence,Levin, Paul, Janson and James, you know its never the end of the road so let's all continue to work hard together! :) Not to forget..Good Luck to Melissa, Gayle, Jasmine, Siew Woon, Rahimah, Milly and Geraldine! Muah muah muah...

And now, back to the new photos..the 1st pic was taken secretly in 1 of the Queen's Crown Jewels corridors. Apparently cameras are banned in here..heehee..i love this pic!
The 2nd pic is of me acting cute with a real working cannon! it's really heavy and i tried to lift it to no avail..Hurt my hand a little but only realized it when i left the castle..it was so cold my limbs were numb!! (i was wearing five layers and still feel the chill!)
3rd pic is the one i promised to post..THe Harry Potter train station! I remember my 1st reaction when i was there and was shown the stone pillar where they filmed Harry and his friends passing through- i put both my hands on the pillar, hugged it and went, "oh my GOD! This is so cool!" somewhat too loud, the people around me all looked at me and laughed! They must think i'm such a sua gu! haha

To lovefoolosopher, thank you so much for your comments..you really made my day! I feel very flattered and encouraged by your comments! Have checked out your blogspot as well..1st reaction, wooh! Intellect! To centrestage, Thank you so much as well and i promise more pics! :)

2006-05-31T11:27:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! check out these photos i took on my Europe trip in February 2006, the ones i managed to scan properly...come on gimme a break i'm new at this...:0
the first and the second pic i took after a major shopping spree in Leeds..wow it was fantastic though some of the shop assistants were quite cocky and not very helpful. i enjoyed myself immensely though.. just imagine me rummaging through the sale items like a bag lady..haha..yes yes i only buy stuff i think is worth the money..1 pound equals sgd3 dollars!!!! the other reason i was shopping nonstop was cos i had no choice..it was too cold for me to stay outdoors and i had to dash into a shop every 5 mins..haha (excuses, excuses) it was minus 5 degrees!! even in singapore i don't sleep in airconditioned rooms, i wondered how i survived the two weeks that i was there..

Third pic is of me on the London open-aired tour bus, it costs about sgd80 to go on the tour! goodness me and it was super cold and the wind was freezing plus it started to rain and i got lost when i alighted at the wrong stop. My umbrella didn't protect me from the rain and by the time i found the train station i had to throw the umbrella away cos the wind had bent the steel out of shape. However, i enjoyed myself a lot and couldn't stop laughing..maybe my brains were frozen or something!! Truth is i'm a sucker for adventure, my body might be suffering but my spirit's totally havin a ball..

The fourth pic is of me in London's Chinatown, a pity they had roadworks if not i could have taken a much better picture of the area. they've got tons of casinos there and believe me i was tempted to walk in so many times!! i stopped myself only cos i didn't have enough pounds to lose..haha..there were many chinese restaurants there and i tried one that served the best crispy duck i have ever eaten..for more info pls email me..(starting to sound like an advertisement)

Last pic is when i was in Edinburgh,Scotland. That's the famous Edinburgh Castle behind me..I went inside and toured the place where the Prisoners of War were kept, saw the crown jewels etc.. It was kind of spooky at one point cos they had special effects to make us feel as though it was back during war time. All in all, it was an interesting experience. I have got to go back there again!!

i have much more pics from my trip which i will attempt to scan again..i actually have 1 pic of the Harry Potter train station! Wish me luck scanning it! :p

On a special note, i'd like to wish Good Luck to my fellow contestants on Singapore Idol. The 1st 7 boys' piano show was aired yesterday night and the results will be later tonight. To Jon, James, Levin, Paul, Janson, Terence and Norman, Best of Luck and I love you guys!! Hope we'll stay friends no matter what happens!

Till next time........

2006-05-28T15:33:00.000-07:00

SINGAPORE IDOL 2006!!!!
The best thing that ever happened to me!!!!! To all my true friends out there, don't forget to vote for me!!! And to all my new friends, I thank you for your votes and your support...

This is only my first post, so I'm still a rookie at this! hahaha... But I created this space for the very reason that anyone who stumbles upon this page will spend some time to get to know me. At least enough, to vote for me lah... ( very "Singaporean", hahaha ) Check out my pics that they put up on the Singapore Idol website!!! I think my face looks really round : (

I'm gonna put up some pics of myself that I think I look better than the ones currently available. I don't want to be known as a fat pig, hahaha....( even tho' I share certain similarities as a pig, hahahaha.....eat,sleep,eat,sleep,eat.... )

Feel free to email me your comments, cos I really need your constructive criticism in order to improve myself. I really want to go further in this competition. Above anything else, I thank you all in advance..... ; )