Hi everybody! So sorry i was unable to update my private blog..It's weird cos on the day of my results show i was about to post my thank yous to all but was unable to access my blog. I wonder what happened?
Anyway, I'm ecstatic to have made it to top 12 and yes, yes i know of the 'unfairness' thing. I have heard and read so much about it..For those of you who feel indignant for me, please do not let it affect you too much! I want to be a part of your lives in a good way, i do not wish to make anyone sad or angry for me..
I'm hurt and right now with the pressure of the competition on and the loneliness I feel without my family,friends and Sam,(She is in a pet hotel now by the way and I know she's in good hands) I'm so afraid i will break down anytime soon..
Honestly, my heart is aching like mad and i feel like finding a corner and just letting it all out. I have suppressed my tears for too long..even today as i watched the top12 closeup episode with the rest of the idols, i was about to start crying but my first reaction was always to stop it and be strong..Should I let it out?
I admit i am too emotional for my own good. (Like what hady says, I'm a piscean and we are like durians-Spiky sharp on the outside,all mush inside..) He's right. While being strong can help with my confidence and also project a positive influence on the people around me, it's eating me alive, more so now than ever! What should i do? When i got interviewed i said 'if i cry, it means i have given up' I'm beginning to realize that this only applies in certain situations.
The truth is, i'm lonely here. I'm afraid to get too attached to the other idols because i know it will simply kill me to have to see anyone go or to leave the house myself. right now,I'm concentrating on the competition and trying to have fun at the same time yet somehow i feel empty. Something is missing. I need to find it. Fast.
Anyway, I'm ecstatic to have made it to top 12 and yes, yes i know of the 'unfairness' thing. I have heard and read so much about it..For those of you who feel indignant for me, please do not let it affect you too much! I want to be a part of your lives in a good way, i do not wish to make anyone sad or angry for me..
I'm hurt and right now with the pressure of the competition on and the loneliness I feel without my family,friends and Sam,(She is in a pet hotel now by the way and I know she's in good hands) I'm so afraid i will break down anytime soon..
Honestly, my heart is aching like mad and i feel like finding a corner and just letting it all out. I have suppressed my tears for too long..even today as i watched the top12 closeup episode with the rest of the idols, i was about to start crying but my first reaction was always to stop it and be strong..Should I let it out?
I admit i am too emotional for my own good. (Like what hady says, I'm a piscean and we are like durians-Spiky sharp on the outside,all mush inside..) He's right. While being strong can help with my confidence and also project a positive influence on the people around me, it's eating me alive, more so now than ever! What should i do? When i got interviewed i said 'if i cry, it means i have given up' I'm beginning to realize that this only applies in certain situations.
The truth is, i'm lonely here. I'm afraid to get too attached to the other idols because i know it will simply kill me to have to see anyone go or to leave the house myself. right now,I'm concentrating on the competition and trying to have fun at the same time yet somehow i feel empty. Something is missing. I need to find it. Fast.
posted by Emilee at 11:04 AM
16 Comments:
hey emilee... ive been reading ur si blog... and came across yours here... i will just like to say,
channel the negativities and make it to a positive ones... i think i write this down, 3 times already in your si blog, but never got posted!!! so frustrating!!!...
i really enjoy the short segment that they featured on you with the other idols.. though i wish it will be much longer!!!
stay strong and be positive!! i cant wait to see you guys next wednesday!!!
anyway, my nick is eddyboi there...
you have lots of supporters in the SI forum!!! and I am one of them... we know you will give your best in your performance!!!
have a great rehearsals!!!!
Babe,
cheer up aite...
you know I love you loads...
I'm with you, all the way up and down..
Miz you loads, muackzz..
I too can't post on your SI blog, maybe someone "accidentally" turned off your SI blog commentting there......
Don't worry about what other people's opinion and what labels othera put on you. Taylor Hick was not an "expected choice" either but look at where he's at now. You are at where you are now for a reason: someone voted you in.
Song choice, connection with audience and just be you.
Hi dear...
Juz wanted u to know that we love u and will be behind you all the way!! I really dun understand why those pple are doing this to you, what do they get out of hurting others... but remember, everything happens for a reason. The competition is important but I'm sure you know that there is something else more important than that... showing the pple who love n support u that you're doing your best n will never let them down.
You are alwayz my heroine... u are the only one whose song can drive me to tears... n you are my strong strong sister who's alwayz there for me, the one who carry me on your back when I fall on a pile of stones n is bleeding like crazy... the one who will stand up for me n run after the person who hit me with a bicycle...so no matter how much u r suffering remember, u are stronger than u think, n u will always be the second sis I love most.
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im not your fan but all i can say is don't let the fear of losing someone keep you from getting to know them better. enjoy while you can! it doesn't mean that if SI is over, you guys would not be friends, right?
Hi Emilee! Great to see this blog up and running again.
I know where you're comin from...being in any competition, especially when you've made it to a significant stage, can be gruelling both physically and emotionally.
But here's my two cents' worth. Here's what I do whenever I feel that I'm under great pressure: Be Detached.
Now here's the trick, being detached doesn't mean that you're being disinterested. Being disinterested is simply not caring. But being detached means you do all dat's within ur ability to go the furthest you can go, BUT, you must tell urself that if you don't make it in the end, you can hold ur head up high and tell urself u've given all u got and there are no regrets. And being detached doesn't mean you don't care about the other contestants. It means you do, but detach urself from the competitive aspect of it. The competition shld be within you, not so much with the contestants. Help one another to grow and remember that friendship is the foundation of your relation, not competition. Leave the competitive element to the judges and voters. Once you guys become too focused on winning, or who stays or who goes out next, then the pressure will make u go insane...which in no way, will benefit any of you guys.
You've done great, I've seen you perform. But if there's any criticism abt ur singing, I would say go easy on the undulation. You have a beautiful, deep voice, but u tend to go a little too far with the undulation of your voice, which makes it seem like u're trying harder than u should.
Hey Emilee... u might not know me and i also don't know u lah hehehe..however Nana is my gud friend..a gud friend of Nana is a gud friend of mine.
Just to cheer u up..i voted for u that day say thanks to Nana she asked me to hehe... the thing is i didn't get to see the show coz me werking lah.So u know what i did??..i actually log on to singaporeidol.com and download your singing(still the one)to my handphone... isn't that cool!! hehe... and u really not bad,amoy hehe...not bad at all.Goodluck will be supporting u..hope to meet u one day.
hey emilee.. ive really got to say u haf such a great personality.. reading ur entries really make me learn alot from you.. sometimes in life there are obstacles and criticisms but the most important thing is that you look on the bright side. hey u've done it so many times yeah.. and i can tell you are a strong girl.. so hang in there and focus and do ur best! i'll b rootin u all the way.. im a big fan of urs :)
hey Em, just to let you know that this is the Malay girl whom you always see at the roadshow! haha..
Diyana here btw..
so sad you're out of SI, but I'll still see you here right? Hope to see you perform again soon, wherever it may be...
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Saw u perform way before ur SI days at Devils. Seriously i think u are great! U have the package babe! Looks... vocal....
Strike out... and i think u will be up there with the best!
Good luck and God bless!
I MISS U E.M.I.L.E.E ! ! !
yeah, i know what u mean by feeling attached to someone now. i love your charisma; its not just the singing that draws people to people, its what comes from inside :)
take care & all the best babe!
xoxo
Emilee, i'm going to miss you... really.. don't give up on your dreams ok... i would really hope to listen to your songs again on a cd or something... your're still the one... i believe.. your still the pill that cures me to make me feel whoopee.. again... miss you! hugs&kisses! PS: still i feel i could have voted more for you... :( singapore idol has no meaning for me now...- Teck (gohteckhwee@yahoo.com.sg)
Emilee, i'm going to miss you... really.. don't give up on your dreams ok... i would really hope to listen to your songs again on a cd or something... your're still the one... i believe.. your still the pill that cures me to make me feel whoopee.. again... miss you! hugs&kisses! PS: still i feel i could have voted more for you... :( singapore idol has no meaning for me now...- Teck (gohteckhwee@yahoo.com.sg)
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