Sunday, July 30, 2006

Hello everybody!! My 'holiday' has finally ended and now this is where my true life career begins!! Oh before that i must apologize for not updating this blog for so long..Due to busy schedules and the Sin idol blog which requires us to update it, my time had all been taken up but i never forget to read the comments!
A Huge Thank you for your wonderful comments and i'm truly sorry to have disappointed all of you by not being able to go further ahead in the competition..Haiz..I would have made a good role model for kids...

To: Lovefool, Manjoe, Eddyboi, Darklev, damekko,ragdoll, shyanne,hyde, siow, vanny, sarah annlim, spidey, juz, displaced thoughts, tagyuxiang, diyana,hyperamos, ouisard, cyborg, nisa, candice, teck hwee and twohill fans...Thank you for the love, encouragement and wonderful comments..Please do keep watching me because i'm still around..i didn't die..haha :p

Of cos, one particular person whose name i didn't mention will actually love it if i had died..just read the comments he made on my Samantha's blog..Must probably be someone i have offended in the past before due to my straightforward nature and until today still cannot get over it(poor thing)..But i'm quite happy cos he actually specially dedicated a blog to hate me! Haha my hate factor quite powerful ah!
Anyway i wish him/her happiness always. Why? cos if his/her life gets better and happier then he/she will be too busy being happy to hate me..haha..

A lot of people ask me why i seem so strong and happy when i was announced to be the one going home that night...My answer...I felt no regrets and i wanted to leave with a lasting and positive impression.
It had been my best performance since the beginning of Idol and i had only improved each week so i will be remembered as 'Emilee who improved consistently and who shocked people when she was axed.' I certainly preferred this to 'Emilee who sang like shit and got kicked out as expected' haha...funny ah..
3 days into my cut-short holiday and i'm still tearless..
You know how sometimes we want to be strong and all but we tend to surprise ourselves at the most unexpected time? I'm pretty sure this won't happen this time because i'm truly thankful i left the way i had. I didn't want to wait till the week that i would unfortunately mess up my song and then get booted out..That would be a serious blow man!

Recently i read on one of the internet Idol Forums and they were talking about how well i took the 'failure'. I kind of laughed.. Why was it a 'failure' anyway?
It's a competition and if you want to say whoever who doesn't become the Singapore Idol is a 'failure', wouldn't there is like more than 3600 'failures' in Singapore?
Kinda funny isn't it? The word 'failure' is definitely not a word i like. it's a word we should avoid using because i think we're all winners here..every single one of us from cineleisure auditions to theatre auditions to top 12. We are the same!! 1 passion, 1 love, 1 target....

Sleep!! was my 1st answer when i was being asked this question..(you see, we don't get much sleep)haha super stoned due to lack of sleep..

Now, I'm still pretty much involved in Idol stuff though i'm out of the running for the next Singapore Idol..Contracted for at least till end of Dec. Will be appearing now and then so do look out for me!
Meanwhile, to fill my stomach and pay my bills, i will be going back to doing events organising with my sister's company so if you have any good job recommendations with a good budget,do leave a message on my blog or email me at WE DO EVERYTHING FROM PRIVATE PARTIES, CORPORATE FUNCTIONS TO LARGE SCALE EVENTS, EG FESTIVALS AND ARTS PERFORMANCES
Do inform me ahead in advance though k? MUAH MUAH...

It's dinner time now and i can't wait to sit down and indulge in a very long awaited home-cooked meal! Gotta go..Ciao everybody. Take care, be happy, keep smiling, and don't forget me!

<'Out of sight but never out of mind'>

Love, Em..:)

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Hi everybody! So sorry i was unable to update my private blog..It's weird cos on the day of my results show i was about to post my thank yous to all but was unable to access my blog. I wonder what happened?
Anyway, I'm ecstatic to have made it to top 12 and yes, yes i know of the 'unfairness' thing. I have heard and read so much about it..For those of you who feel indignant for me, please do not let it affect you too much! I want to be a part of your lives in a good way, i do not wish to make anyone sad or angry for me..

I'm hurt and right now with the pressure of the competition on and the loneliness I feel without my family,friends and Sam,(She is in a pet hotel now by the way and I know she's in good hands) I'm so afraid i will break down anytime soon..

Honestly, my heart is aching like mad and i feel like finding a corner and just letting it all out. I have suppressed my tears for too long..even today as i watched the top12 closeup episode with the rest of the idols, i was about to start crying but my first reaction was always to stop it and be strong..Should I let it out?
I admit i am too emotional for my own good. (Like what hady says, I'm a piscean and we are like durians-Spiky sharp on the outside,all mush inside..) He's right. While being strong can help with my confidence and also project a positive influence on the people around me, it's eating me alive, more so now than ever! What should i do? When i got interviewed i said 'if i cry, it means i have given up' I'm beginning to realize that this only applies in certain situations.

The truth is, i'm lonely here. I'm afraid to get too attached to the other idols because i know it will simply kill me to have to see anyone go or to leave the house myself. right now,I'm concentrating on the competition and trying to have fun at the same time yet somehow i feel empty. Something is missing. I need to find it. Fast.